I want to start this week’s blog with a shout out to Dottie – I’m giving her an “I love your blog” Award.
Last week she gave me my second Premio Daras Award and though I’ve only just discovered her blog, it has me hooked. This is a wonderful site and one you won’t want to miss. Please check it out. Dottie
Now, for this weeks blog. The answer depends on our ATTENTION. Even then, if we give our full attention to something, we’ll be lucky to logically deduce half of it correctly. Without full attention, we’re in big trouble.
John B. Best in his book Cognitive Psychology says, our abilities to survival in the world around us often depends on our abilities to correctly interpret ambiguous sensory input. In other words – our survival rest on our ability to interpret a words meaning with the intent it was spoken, not what was said. We can only pray the speaker is saying it with the same belief system we were raised in and has had the same experience in life that we’ve had, so we can understand what the speaker means when he say what he says.
EX: “I’m going now. I’ll be back.”
How do you interpret this sentence? Do you really know what is being said? O.K., I’ll give you some help. The sentence is in English. LOL…I’m kidding with you!
But seriously, tell me what you really know from this sentence.
The best you can tell me is, this person says he’s going somewhere and says he’ll be back, BUT where is he going and when will he return? Is he telling the truth? The speaker’s statement doesn’t really tell you anything, does it?
O.K., so how do you know what the speaker really means when he says he’s going and will be back? By reason of deduction. Logical reasoning. The way we store information in our memories that help us deduce what is being said.
When you hear the speaker say this, you turn and look at him. You see he has no luggage, so you reason he’s not leaving the town or even the country. You know him; he’s not the type to run away, right? You then notice he grabbed a couple bucks off the table and has left his wallet on the desk. You assume, without his I.D. he’s not going far and he doesn’t take his coat when he leaves, so you assume as well, he’ll return before nightfall…. So that answers when he’ll be back…right? BUT does it really?
All your reasonable deductions are based on assumptions. What your stored memory information is telling you. You’ve seen him do this a thousand times, so this is what you’ve reasoned will happen again…but will it?
When he said, “I’m going now”, why didn’t you assume he meant he was just stepping outside the door, instead of going somewhere near by? Maybe he didn’t take his coat because he’d bought a new one that he left in the car? Is he driving, walking or just standing by your backdoor? How do you know he didn’t pack a suitcase the day before when you were out and has left it in the barn? Can he be trusted? Is he running away?
So when he says, “I’m going now” did he really mean “I’m leaving this town and I won’t be back for some time, but I will come back one day”? How do you know the money he scooped off the table wasn’t something he wanted to add to the travel stash already stuffed into his pocket and the wallet you see on the desk has been emptied and left there for you to discard? Do you really know him? Has he been depressed and you didn’t notice?
Do any of us really know each other or just think we do?
How much of our personal speech is steeped in our religious beliefs, core beliefs and how we were raised, by whom we were raised, where we live and have lived, and what we have experienced in our lives? Or the time we were born in. Why is my logical deduction different than yours? Is there really a standard form or reasonable logic to go by?
Did you know our brains do not hear a negative? If you said, “Gosh, I just put on fifty pounds, I really shouldn’t eat that slice of chocolate cake.” Your brain hears, “Gosh, I just put on fifty pounds, I really should eat that slice of chocolate cake.” Your brain does not hear the shouldn’t in that sentence.
John B. Best in his book Cognitive Psychology explains it like this:
A woman friend of yours says to you: “In a picnic basket, she had peanut butter sandwiches and chocolate brownies….”
Your ear hears: “In the picnic basket, she had peanut butter…. book, leaf, roof, sample, always….”
And your subconscious ear hears: “Cat, large, day, apple, friend, every, select, sandwiches and chocolate brownies…”
It gets you to wondering why so many people misinterpret what is said and heard. Add to that confusion, national background and life experiences of the speaker as well as the listener. The speaker spews out something from her mouth that is tainted with all of her beliefs, feelings and experiences laced around the words she chose and the listener filter all that through her beliefs, experiences and feelings and what she thinks those words mean. WOW!!! It’s no wonder people misconstrue so much. And add to that the troubles of interpretation if our brains are overloaded with inner thoughts while the other person is talking.
In the above example: When the friend (we’ll call her Mary) speaks, the listener (Jane) hears Mary’s words while at the same time Jane’s brain is processing the book in her hand about the leaky roofs she has and was just about to fix when Mary came up to chat. While Mary is speaking, Jane sees a leaf falls past her vision and it is registered in her memory while her thoughts are wishing she had a sample of the glue she needed to repair the leaky roof. Jane also has a fleeting thought - why life always seems to poop on her. Leaky roofs tended to be a poop day - if you know what I mean.
All the while Jane’s subconscious brain if filtering in all the stimuli she saw and wasn’t even aware of, like the large black cat that crept across the street while she smelled Mary’s brownies, and subconsciously wondered if Mary was going to be a real friend and give her one. You have to have brownies on a poop day!
Now Jane’s unaware of the mixed feeling stirring in her because she felt Mary should know she wanted a brownie more than the apple she had waiting for her in the house because she’s starving on her crazy new diet…and how depressed she is because every day she checks and sees she hadn’t lost one ounce because she was stupid enough to believe she had selected the best diet. She hadn’t, but had too much pride to admit it. So she was forcing herself to stay on it just to prove everyone wrong. And save her hurting ego.
Imagine if you were Mary, and knew all this was going on in Jane’s subconscious mind while you’re talking to her. How much of what you said did she really hear?
Whew, I don’t know about you but I’m glad I can’t hear my brain or anyone else’s think…but it does make me wonder….how well do we really communicate with each other? And let’s not add the person with a chip on their shoulder, who bases everything they hears on that chip, as well as all their other beliefs and prejudices.
And what about the person who comes from a different state than you? Yap, the part of the country we come from also influences the way we think and talk. It makes you wonder how a person from another country will interpret the things you say, doesn’t it?
Remember the movie Crocodile Dundee? We laughed at him in New York and her in Australia…but it’s so true.
So, I want to know the way you think. How do you store the knowledge you get in your brain? How and what do you filter it through before you draw your conclusions? How much of what you say is burdened with your inner beliefs, or filtered through your religion? Does where you come from color your choice of words, your humor and beliefs? What was ingrained in you as a child…does it influence the way you see your world and others? The way you relate to people and the way you talk to them? How does the way you feel about yourself, color the way you hear things? Don’t forget how jealousy or envy play their part in your interpretation.
Did you give this read your full attention? I want to know what you think this article really said.
Just a reminder to keep an eye open for Judi Fennel's wonderful book ISBN#9781402220012 a Sourcebook, Titled, "In Over Her Head" will be out June 1st.
Use my link to Judi and read what L A Banks (The Vampire Huntress Legends Series), Jill Barnett (New York Times Best-selling Author), Virginia Farmer (Award-winning Author) and Lynda K. Scott (Star-Crossed Romance) said about "In Over Her Head". Makes it to my "TO BUY" list! Check it out! Oh, you've got to see the awesome and sexy COVER!!!
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