Sunday, April 19, 2009

What do herbs have to do with a woman’s breasts?

OH MY GOD! I found an herb that will enlarge a woman’s breast naturally (if you’re a woman of child bearing years.) {{:-D

Its SAW PALMETTO…I’ve been using it and it works!! Finally, I got two bumps I could thrust out proudly. Yes, a flat chested girl will thrust bumps! I know, I know, if I had breasts I wouldn’t have to thrust – they’d be full and naturally displayed for all the world to see… As a naturally flat chested girl (I’m Irish you know), I’m just happy to have two bumps to thrust…

BUT there is a down side to it. Saw Palmetto also helps promote WEIGHT GAIN and I have indeed put on a few pounds since starting the herb. Not good, now all my jeans fit like spandex and I swear to God the button hole at the top has shrunk. I can’t get the darn button buttoned. NOT GOOD….

As I thought about it, a light-bulb moment hit me, of course the herb would put weight on, our breasts are made mostly of FAT – so for the herb to work it’s magic, it would have to put weight on, right? {:-/ REALLY NOT GOOD. Specially, in my waning years. At my age the body tends to do this naturally…it really doesn’t need any help.

So, I’m back to the push-ups, wires and pain just to give the appearance I have breasts. Which gets me to wondering…Oh God, you know what happens when I start doing that…Yap, I write long blogs.
{8-O sorry. It’s how I work out my frustrations.

I’m 53 years old…when do I, or any woman, stop worrying about appearance? Do women ever stop worrying? Should we? Maybe it’s in the blood…my Grandmother at 83 got up every day - put on her make-up, fixed her hair, pulled on her nylons and DRESS (In her opinion, a lady never wore pants) then finished with jumping into her HIGH HEELS to clean her house and bake. She’d tell me a woman always had to look her best. My grandma without her lipstick? NEVER happen.

Well…I tried…but for some reason I just can’t keep the stuff on my lips. I put lipstick on and it magically disappears within 15 minutes, if that long. Now my twin, she’s like my G-ma, she’s found that bleedin’ secret for keeping it on…darn woman, she’s even gone to bed with her lipstick on and in the morning when she wakes – IT’S STILL THERE! Not even smudged! If I tried that – it’d be all over my face!

My twin sister has nice breasts…naturally so, but now that I think of it, my twin also got the better legs and the winning personality. Everyone loves my sis…heck, even I love her…yes, she that sweet! Except for the time she tried to strangle me…but that’s another story. ;-) LOL

But as a twin you’d think God would equally distribute the features, right? Well, he didn’t. You’d think since he gave her the better body, he’d give me something, but she was blessed with the better singing voice as well.

Me, what did it get? Well, I got the bigger face…yap, I got what my mother called the “COW” eyes and “BIG” mouth…Not “bigmouth” just “big mouth”. There’s a difference. So stop laughing!

Fact is, I didn’t talked much at all when I was a child (truth be known, I never said a word to anyone except my twin, until about the fifth grade or so.)
Yeah, that’s what I got...shyness, and knowing how to listen. That I did a lot of back then. I absorbed things like Death Valley sand.

Thank you, God. /:-( But I’d rather have breasts! Listening can be learned, BREASTS…can’t! Yes, I realize you can buy them now, but that’s not the same as having natural ones.

Ooops, I kind of got distracted didn’t I?

The other things Saw Palmetto is good for…it’s a hormone regulator, works great for impotency and helps men over 35 fight Prostate enlargement (no they won’t grow breast), it’s also a sexual stimulant and helps the reproductive organs.

So you tell me…is there, or should there be a time when women stop worrying about looking feminine?

Hawk

42 comments:

Vicki said...

Cool post, but I think I'll stay away from that herb. :)

You always find the most amazing things to write about. I love it.

Blodeuedd said...

Really, hm interesting :)
I am happy with what I got, but they sure seemed good for a lot of other things too

Erotic Horizon said...

You are on fine form today..

firstly isn't it human nature to think you are lacking - never being perfect enough, never svelte enough.

Over time I am sure there are other plus' to you that your sister is lacking..

On the other hand, beauty is in the eyes of the beholder, i am sure if you ask your sister, the same deficiency that you find in yourself are the things she admires and love about you... eating your lipstick off - she might be wishing she was as carefree as you, she might also be wishing for that flat chest, especially when it comes to a woman's first vanity - clothes.

As for the herbs, where i grew up, there was a herb for everything, don't mean we all need to try them. For me just knowing that they even existed had me running like hell.

let nature takes it's course, and take it from someone with a lot in the chest area "it ain't all that'.

Have a great week.

Very thought provoking post...

E.H>

Yvonne said...

They really do have herbs for everything, don't they?

Thanks for visiting my blog. Yours is beautiful and I'm a follower now!

Have a great week!

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Vicki!

LOL, you like this one, huh? LOL, I don't know if it's amazing but it's what's been happening with me...
You know me, always finding trouble when I can.
Glad you enjoyed it though.

Hugs
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Blodeuedd,

I wouldn't really ask for a lot...nothing super big. I'd be happy if the bumps I had were just big enough to stay inside the bra...when you're too small the bra keeps sliding up...really hurts.
That or they make it a LAW that all small busted women are ban from wearing bras...I could go for that!

Herbs, yes...they have a lot of wonderful uses when it comes to your health. I'd be lost without them. I don't go to doctors much. If I'm going to be a guinea pig I'd rather be the one doing the testing...I'll be more selective on what I choose to test on myself...for sure!

So glad you stop by! ;-)

Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

EH!

Glad you came back!

Ah ha...so you're one of those lucky girls. Ah, I can only envy you...

OH, my twin sister will agree with you 100%. But that's because she loves me.
A twin will always think her twin is the best - no matter what...that's just part of being a twin.

And I'm warning you now -if she sneaks in here this week to read this blog...then you all can expect to see a very long, if not the longest comment you've ever seen, to me from her about how perfect I am...ah, that's a twin for you.

Life is good - even if my bras are like vice grips around my flat chest! ;-)
LOL

Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Yvonne,

Thank you for coming! LOL, normally I write better blogs than this one...this one was just a rambling one of thoughts really.
So, come back next week when I do better! ;-)

Yes, I'll be by to see you. I enjoyed your blog!

Hugs
Hawk

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

Hi Hawk!

It took forever for the breast fairy to visit me, in fact, on several occasion, I was confused with my brother who was wearing his hair long and loose, before his growth spurt. Then it happened, I went from a 32 AA to a 34 D like over night. I got wild stares, girls asked what'd done over the summer. Nothing, I had done nothing. It was as if the Gods looked down upon me and declared 'Thou will be blessed with huge breasts'. I knew then at least on of the gods had to be a man. No woman would do that to another woman.

So...I won't be trying Saw Palmetto. I would seriously scare people if I tried to wear a tank top, and when tube tops were popular, please tramp city in one of those! When I was younger, I used to hate it. Do you know some people can have whole conversations with your breast and never look you in the eye once?

It's all inherited, I come from a long line of well endowed women, ironically on my father's side of the family. Yes, that would be the Scot-Irish side, genetics are weird. Several of my sisters and I were cursed with these genes. Several were not. We all wished we were in the 'not' category. Like the old saying goes...the grass is always greener.

Should women always try to look feminine? Isn't that part of the genetic make-up of a women, whether to be feminine or not? I'm casual and relaxed at home, which may or not include any makeup whatsoever. When people who've only seen the relaxed side of me, see me dressed up, they're amazed. I actually like dressing up, but my kids don't always act impressed and that's who I'm around the most. I don't think that femininity means makeup, but it's your personality, the contagious laughter that infects other people, and being yourself.

Once again Hawk, you've made the wheels as my brain squeak into motion, dust pummels from my ears, and memories of childhood escape back into existence telling me I should visit more often.

((hugs))

Dottie :)

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Dottie,

I always enjoy your comments...WOW, 32AA to a 34D ...Good gosh girl, you had to get those from the Scot side! That or you had connections... So, what King faerie did you talk to...will you introduce me? LOL

I've been over looked and by now forgotten by the breast faeries! But never too late to HOPE.

You make me laugh...I don't think you could scare anyone...you're way too sweet! ;-)

I hear you on the female picture...it's everything about a woman that counts, not just one thing...and good thing, or I'd be doomed!

But when it comes to clothes it sure would be nice to fill them in without the WIRES and PUSHING and SQUASHING and PINCHING and, and, and...you know what I mean?

If I only had breast that fit into a bra and stayed there, I'd be fine with even little ones at this point in my life...

Ah well, what ya' gonna do, that's life.

Hugs darlin'
Hawk

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My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

Hi Hawk

All I did was click on the link you provided http://quiz.angiefox.com/dangerous-demon-slayer-book/ in your post, and it took me to Angie Foxx's quiz, it still does. I don't know what happened, it's weird that a comment wonked the whole thing up. You could put it on your sidebar as a link in the body of html like I did, other than that....I don't know. I can't believe it took away this week post, blogger must have screwed up. To get the tag, after I took the quiz, the widget popped up with the code to copy and embed on my blog. Which I did, but I used it on my sidebar instead of post section of my blog.

Commenter won't let me put the code for 74% exactly...so if this works wherever there is a (.) put a >, (,) put a <

(.)div id="slayerwidget" style="background-image:url(http://quiz.angiefox.com/dangerous-demon-slayer-book/demonslayerwidget.jpg);width:168px; height:185px;"(.)(,)div id="score" style="margin-left:100px; margin-top:5px; color:white;font-size:24px;"(.)74%
(,)/div(.)(,)/div(.)

Sorry Hawk! Maybe I pissed off the wrong fae giving away fae secrets and then not being happy with breast enlargement? Sending positive thoughts your away!!

((hugs))

Dottie :)

Lea said...

OMG Hawk!

OMG, OMG, OMG!!!

You are incredible! A breast enlarging hormone??? YIKES

And, Sweet Jesus - you put on weight - no thank you very much - my thighs are big enough! lol

As for the boobs - eh... At this point in my life its "what you see is what you get", I'm afraid. lol

I don't worry too much about my appearance, but that is just me. Sort of a jeans and t-shirt kind of person. lol

I see you got another blog award!
Awesome sweetie.. :) I'll add it to your slide later today.

If you need help with anything else let me know, okay.

Warm Regards
L

Lea said...

Okay, I added your new award to your Slide. :)

If there is anything else I can help you with, let me know.

((hugs))
L

Houston A.W. Knight said...
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Houston A.W. Knight said...

Lea,

You're such a sweetheart!

OMG - I had to laugh! Sounds like you're in shock.
Obviously, all you girls have been blessed by the bust faerie! You can put on a dress and men know it's a woman when they see you...me, they think I'm a man in drag....flat chest and all!
Thank the lord the Gods didn't give me a hairy chest to go with it! Or I'd have one hard time proving they shouldn't draft me into the army! LOL

Thank you for the award help...I feel so blessed for your friendship, hon! And I feel honored that my readers enjoy my post so much they send me these wonderful awards.

Hugs xoxox
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Dottie,

Hey young lady...you're such a dear one...Have I told you I adore you? Well, I do! Even if you bested me at the Demon Slayer in points, and out did me on posting the widget...just can't get that one. But thanks for the help...wish I could have gotten it to work.
Machines are funny around me...they seem to take on a life of their own and take over when I'm on them...Hey, that sounds like a book! Hummmmm ;-)

Hugs darlin'
Hawk

Sha and Michelle said...

Hawk - do you have an email I can talk to you thru???

or can you email me:

lthompson8508@email.vccs.edu

Lea said...

I put the Demon graphic in your sidebar Hawk. :)

And in answer to your question, no, I am not well endowed with respect to boobs. It's a sad, sad state of affairs. And, when I lose weight? It all falls off my boobs... Pitiful I daresay... :)

L

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Lea!

OMG - we're exactly alike. I could use the weight on my face and bust but I don't need it on the thighs and belly...yet, my face and bust are the last places to put the weight on and the first to lose it!
O.K., whose sh*t list did we get on amd why?

LOL
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Lea...hugs for the hard work on the DS widget tag...thank you sweetie!
xoxo
Hawk

My Blog 2.0 (Dottie) said...

Hi Hawk!

Sweet, Angie Fox's graphic is working!

You know, when I loose weight in comes off my boobs first, never my tummy or butt. Which sucks. Not that I want my boobs any bigger, but I would like a smaller tummy or butt, but then, wouldn't the girls stick out even more? Oh, look at the problems one little herb can cause!!

Dottie

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Dottie!

Yes, AF is working only because of Lea! LOL I'd be lost without her! ;-)
I adore that girl! She's sooo sweet!

LOL - you said "I would like a smaller tummy or butt, but then, wouldn't the girls stick out even more?"

YES! You need the butt to balance the bust...a must! You've got to have a booty! NO to flat bottoms! I got the butt, but the Gods forgot to tell the bust faerie to vist and finish the job...so I'm lopsided....lol

You said "Oh, look at the problems one little herb can cause!!"
I'm ROTFLOL!!!!! I don't think I'll talk about herbs for awhile...it has cause quiet a stir, hasn't it? teeheheeheheheheehe.

Oh that's right, that's why I wrote the article!
{;-) aren't I bad? LOL

hugs
Hawk

Sha and Michelle said...

update in your email. It's a doozy.

I wonder if he'll ever call me again...even if we are just friends!!

Yvonne said...

Hi Hawk!

I just gave you an award :)