Sunday, March 21, 2010

Passion...what happened to it?

What has happened to romance?

I ask this question because I've had my fair share of girlfriends who ask this questions. But it always follows that romance disappeared after they got married to them.

I'm not saying "sex" disappeared, well, for many I'm told it did declined somewhat, but the romance between them faded fast after they tied the knot...why?

It's sad to say, but some men (not all) are of the belief that once he's gotten the woman of his dreams married to him, he doesn't have to be bothered with the headaches of having to romance her anymore....She's now his WIFE....and a wife doesn't have to be romanced or flirted with.

Can you see my mouth on the floor right now? That's right...a man said this to me once....let me add here...this guy should be glad I wasn't his wife, because, had I been, and he'd said that in my earshot...I would have boxed his ears for him.

But what these men don't seem to understand is that if they want more from their wives than sex...if they want passion, lust, ecstasy and heat...he has to understand she still needs the romance.

There is a difference between sex and romance...both are wonderful by themselves, but what these men doen't realize is that to have that enamored, lusty feelings of wanton desires they felt when they first meet her...they have to keep sex and romance combined.

Oh, they can have sex and that can be nice...even good. They can even have the titillation of romance..a flirt here and there, but without the combo of both they can't have the hot, mind bending, soul reaching, rapturous, lusty wild and passionate LOVE that they shared before the marriage.
They sit around wondering why they can't recapture what it was that drew them to their wives in the first place, because it was the combo of sex and ROMANCE that made that amazing connection happen.

So I ask you....Where has all the PASSION gone? Why does it seems SOME (not all) men have forgotten the need women have for ROMANCE? It plays such an important roll in a woman's sex lives.

No now and then. Romance combined with sex... means...often and hot!

With the large amount of romance books being sold today, shouldn't these guys get the hint that maybe, just maybe, women NEED romance in their lives?

Most women have a need for seduction, the desire for sensuously whispered words in her ear, the want of feeling the heat of his obsession; for her and only her.

The wanton thrill a woman feels when her man's strong arms slowly move around her waist to rakishly wrap her in his hold and press her against his hard, wet, naked body at an uexpected moment?

Why have some men forgotten a woman's sexuality starts in her mind. She needs Romance! She needs the setting of soft lighting (be it natures light or candles), flowers (or his aftershave) that give a sweet smell and the sight of her beautiful man's nakedness. She needs the taste of his desire for her on his lips.

Most women need a special place just for them the share. A secret rendezvous that he took the time to "dress up" with candles,
roses, wine, a favorite fruit or something sweet he made just for her?

It could be as simple as a touch, a kiss or a look meant only for her.

Maybe it's as easy as a spontaneous "afternoon" just for the two of you...
Or a surprise evening at a romantic spot he took you to once, when you first meet. And he brought you there as a reminder of his lust for's amazing how such a reminder will bring on a woman's desires and renew the love she has for her man.

It doesn't take a lot to stir a woman's heart...just remembering she loves red or purple and having the sheets in that color can bring her around to that decadent and ertoic mind set that once so ruled over your relationship...

Passion is a key to Romance. The man needs to feel and show his passion for her. Make her know she's the ONLY one in his heart. The ONLY one he NEEDS. The ONLY one he WANTS, and the ONLY one he LOVES!

Why have some men forgotten the power of their touch on a woman's flesh? A woman wants and needs to know her man loves to touch her. Or a moment of tender words as he passes through the kitchen can give hubby a grand time later that night.

A simple trip down memory lane on a sunny afternoon when there's nothing to do will fill her heart with memories of why she fell in love with you. Taking the time to share memories with her will draw her like a bear to honey...and all those arousing night you had while on that vacation you've just reminisced about will be repeated again, and again, and again that night.

Why and when did (some) men forget the power they had to melt a woman and set her ablaze with a romantic seductive gaze with his eyes...shouldn't their mother's have told them that as men they had the ability to seduce a woman with a fevered stare?

A look that tells her he wants her and no other and he'll take her now!

Or a cocky smirk. Sometimes it's just the way a man tilts his head at her that can set a woman on ecstasy road...

A road she'll be more than happy to drag you down...

If men only knew women think about Love=(sex & romance) as much as they do.

They'd understand why simple things like a look, a flower, a bath surrounded with candles filled with an aluring scent, or whispered words of adore can bring his fantasy world to reality.

Sex for a woman starts in the mind and works it way through the five senses.

Women need romance first to get to the core of their passion...
Once the man has tapped that core of fire with his touch and gentle ways...that woman will entice him with a world of unbelievable passion and a desire for only him that will be forever.

For the guys out there who think they don't have to ROMANCE their wives...figure out why so many women are reading it? Sit back and remember how you once brought a sparkle to her eyes just by walking into the's not because the relationship was new... it's because the relationship had romance.

When you kissed her you made her feel your desire. When you pulled her into your arms you made her know you weren't going to let go. When you whispered words in her ear, the words were words of seduction, not asking if she did the laundry.
When you pressed your body against hers... you made her know she was yours.

Romance doesn't always mean physical can be a word, a look, a sound or a can be as easy as sharing an inner most thought...a thought she knows you'd share with no one else. Romance is a bond only you two share...knowing she is first in your life even if life gets too busy or in the way.

Memories of the passion and knowing she's in your thoughts from the romantic things you still do keeps love alive, hot, and steamy. Romance is the glue to an awesome life with your wife.

Don't forget the passion, desire and lust that comes with Romance.

Don't forget how easy romance was and how much it added that heat of spice to your relationship when you were dating...don't forget what your woman needs to feel loved, desired and sexy...and what do you get out of all this?



Blodeuedd said...

Bf used to clean like crazy when we had just met. Make the place spotless, now the dishes just sit there.
Well I shall not complain, I got my V day card, and he dresses up on the weekend for stay at home date night :)
He can hug me out of the blue, and I can live on the little romance I get, as long as he doesn't forget that.

And he does light candles

M.V.Freeman said...

Hawk, love those pictures!

As for men--strange creatures. I think for the ones that fail or stop after marriage--they are lazy. They don't want to put forth effort.

I am lucky (at least I think so) my husband is not the "romantic" type, but he is in his own way. His eyes light up when I walk into a room (even if I am just up and my hair is a rats nest). He talks to me, listens, and hugs me. He is one of the few people I let physically close to me (besides my children). I trust him.

Oh, he doesn't always get me flowers, or cards, but he does the laundry, does dishes(ok we share that, I cook), puts gas in my car, waits up for me when I work late. He always listens when I call and complain about the latest travesty at work.

Every night, he lets me know he loves me.

I agree Hawk, as long as your man does not forget the romance that works for you....than it is still a wonderous thing.

Hmmm. Now to educate those other ignorant men out there....

And may your romance always have a spark of magic to it! :-)

Love the post!

Houston A.W. Knight said...


Hey sweetie back to being my first commenter! It's odd when I don't see your name first...makes me think something is out of place. LOL

What's nice to know...your BF isn't forgetting the important things...I think it's neat he dresses up for date night at home! Now that's really awesome!

Sounds like he's doing a lot of romantic about you...are you doing romantic things in return? Special tickets to a ball game he likes...stuff like that? To keep the romance coming, you can't forget to be romantic back.

Hugs Honey!

Houston A.W. Knight said...


Hey sweetie!

Oh I thought you'd enjoy the photos...

I agree...some men get lazy after marriage...that's where the problem comes in. They believe once they're married they don't have to try or work at the relationship to keep the love and romance alive...these are men who don't understand the female mind...and if they do... then their sin is worse, because then it's out of disrespect that they refuse to put forth the effort to keep a marriage strong.

You've made a very good point here as well...sometimes we women have to see ROMANCE a little differently than we do...because I do belief some guys see doing laundry, or keep your car oil changed is romantic. We women have to remember, they're showing us (in their way) that they care. So, yes, we women have to look at romance with different eyes to see what our men are really doing...and to see the romance behind what they do.
Awesome point M.V.,!!!

Yes, I'm blessed...I have a romantic man that does the laundry, cooks and cleans and makes the bedroom hot! LOL


M.V.Freeman said...

LOL, So wonderful Hawk,
You have the best of all worlds I believe!! You deserve it.


Blodeuedd said...

Yes I was first ;) I stalk your blog so I can be first..well may have not come in first a few time and got very very upset :(

I do dress up for stay at home date night too, and otherwise. And as you know I am no hugger but with him, I hug, kiss and touch. Little things through out the day to show I care. I do like that we always kiss before parting and when coming home

Houston A.W. Knight said...


I'm blessed for sure...and it sounds as if you are too!


Houston A.W. Knight said...


You make me stalk my blog! lololololololol.

o.k., GIRLS!!! From now on no one can post a comment until Blodeuedd does first...I don't want her to be up-set!


Lori Sanders-Foley said...

Real men read romance. It's research. To know your market, you do stay competitive or viable, one does research. So why not read what women are reading to see what makes them swoon? I speak not just academically; my dh has been reading novels for years.

Men, like women, have been conditioned to believe that the happily ever after just happens~ no work in it. Rather than a 50/50 give, a relationship is a 100/100 give. Once again, it also speaks to the concept of women responding to the psychological stimulus, not just the physical stimulus.

Lori Sanders-Foley said...

oh, and by the way, you know I am drooling over the pic of the green dragon. Hope the vernal equinox brings a wonderful fresh breath of Spring to everyone.

Cecile said...

I always wait for Blodeuedd to post first. It is just not normal if see does not post first, hee hee!

Hawk this is a very thought provoking post you have here. And I will not get into this conversation... Okay... Fine, you twisted my arm.

Some men actually believe that their life is fine with out any passion, physical contact, conversation, whatever.. And it is the woman that suffers. Especially married couples - those things are needed in a marriage. Okay.. I have to stop... my soap box is pretty big on this subject.

Love ya honey!!!

Cecile said...

Oh and by the way...... Love the pictures. I just might actually have to send this post to hubby to take a look at it... hint hint!

Houston A.W. Knight said...


YOur words are soooooo true 100% is what makes a marriage has to be.

This is what I love about you most...always words of wisdom! (((hugs)))

Oh BTW...did you notice the real little dragon I put on Jes' sight?
CUTE! I had to steal it for mine! tehehehehe

Hugs Babe

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Cecile...sweetie one!

LOL...I never realized how hard it was to twist your arm honey! ROTFLOL!

It's a subject I've always had to wonder about...I've had too many girlfriends with this problem...I'm wondering why some men think that once they've married the woman they can now forget about her!
It's not fair, it's not right and it shows a man who doesn't care.

I think I agree with Lori...most men should read romance and wake up to what most women need in their's not like a woman is asking a whole lot! How many of us girls sit and watch that damn football, baseball, golfing, whatever to keep our man happy...the least we can get is....romance after three + hours watching football for them!

OH, BTW, thank you for observing the rules of Blodeuedd posting first! girls kill me!

I adore you all!

Anonymous said...

Many thanks for posting the great article on romance - definitely one to remember...

Houston A.W. Knight said...


Thank you sweetie for dropping in and for leaving such a great comment! I'm so happy you liked the post...sometime we just have to give our heros a push to get them into know what I mean? LOL

Big hugs to you sweetie and I hope you comment more often...I love hearing from all of you!


Jes' Mysictal Treasures said...

Hi Hawk,
Just wanted to stop in and say, I love your post(s) You have a way of touching people throught the mind, sences,and thoughts...your one hell of a writer.
Love much

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Jes...(((hugs))) thank you sweetie for the kind words. You've always been a big supporter of me and my dreams!


Jes' Mysictal Treasures said...

Hi Hawk,
Honey it's not just the support for my sis, it's the truth in your words. If all women reading this would make a copy and give it to their man...maybe we could get life back on track with married men. Men go out on wifes because they also need's different then ours but it is why most go out on wifes. What men need to understand is that they can have it WITH their wife if they would just read this and then familys would not be broken apart. It takes less effort to take care of what you already have then to start over with something new...
Both parties need to get in on this action, if you get home before waiting in the shower for him with soap in hand so when he comes looking...guess what he read and waiting...remember it takes two to make it happen...go both ways and magic will happen.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Jes....your words couldn't be more's easier to keep what you've already got going than it is to cheat or start over...If most guys put in only half the time they took to plan the cheating and put that 1/2 effort towards their wives - there would never be a need to cheat....and a marriage they'd have to last them a life time.

IN other words...A HAPPY LIFE.
The Italian's have a saying, which is "A happy wife makes a happy life." and that is soooooo true isn't it?

I agree with take two to make it work...and a happy marriage is always being worked on...this work never stops....not if you care about your mate.

Thanks for the words of wisdom Jes! You're such a sweetheart ya' are!


Patty Cook said...

Thank you for the beautiful words and pictures. I am one of the lucky ones who has found someone who makes me feel like I am the most beautiful woman in the world even when I know I must look like hell. Some of our best times together are spent in the together, cleaning together, and quite often, those times lead to the most passionate moments.

Houston A.W. Knight said...


Welcome to my blog! I'm so happy you enjoyed the post and the pictures.

It's nice to hear you're a lucky one...I am too but I try not to shout that out too loudly. LOL

I'm so happy you've come by to visit!