Sunday, May 23, 2010

You had to ask and get me brain going again, didn't ya'?



O.K., Blame Natasch for this posting! Last weeks post on how our moods affect our writing she asked, "I'm curious now, to see if other people who read the same manuscript had the same experience with it, was something said about that?"

Now ya' all know me...if ya' going to asked a question I'm gonna find the answer...so here we go. I wrote two vignette endings to two story last year in a Romance Bandits contest...read them and then tell me what mood I was in when I wrote each of them. Let's see if you all can pick up on the mood or me as the person behind the words I wrote.

Will you all come out of this feeling the same thing, or will some of you pick up on one thing and others another? Was I angry when I wrote one? Was I happy or stressed? Is there an underlying mood to my writing...what do you see between these lines? Does my private persona as a being come through in my writing? Or have I managed to detach myself from the story so all you feel and read are my Hero's emotions?

Let's find out.

#1
The room was empty. No mutt, no Drew. The entire room had been cleaned out. Just a single chair sat in the middle of the floor. A lawn hose stretched threw an open window. It was curled up on the floor near the chair. It looked like an interrogation area. An interrogation with all purposes of not turning out too well for the one being interrogated.
“Care to have a seat.” Drew’s deep sexy voice asked from the doorway behind me.

#2
“May I be of Assistance?” Colt shot a smile at the angelic looking bride in the white gown.
Derek sat up taller in the passenger’s seat. A tremble passed through his body. The bride had a Nicole Kidmen paleness to her beauty. Her gown was clean but old, must be her grandmother’s hand-me-down. It creeped him out, though he knew it shouldn’t. Lots of brides got married in their mother’s gowns…a tradition, some say. A tradition he never cared for.

She seemed to float over to the front of the car. “Please, I’d be so grateful.”

“Where you heading?” Colt asked.

“I’m late for my wedding. Can you take me there?” She headed for the passenger’s side.

Reluctantly, Derek opened his car door and slid out, tosses a warning glance at Colt; this was going to be trouble.

“Ah, sure.” Colt nodded. “What church?”

“The Little White Chapel, in Las Vegas.”

“Just the way we’re heading. Get in.”

“Colt!” Derek jumped out of the bride’s path as she passed. A sudden chill in the desert air stood the hairs on his arm. The sensation of cockroaches climbing up his back made him swipe at the nape of his neck. He hissed over the car as the woman disappeared into the front seat. “Don’t you think this is odd? We’re three hours from there and she’s standing out here all alone in a wedding dress?”

“Shut up and get in. We both might get lucky before the ride is done.”

Derek slumped in beside the bride as Colt released the brake and head south. “So,” Derek glanced at her with his side vision. She appeared normal but she smelled like dirt. “Don’t mind my asking…how’d you get all the way out here? I didn’t see a house or car anywhere.”

The bride turned and looked at him with soft blue eyes. He shivered. It was as if he’d see those trusting eyes before.

“You know, don’t you?” she said.

Derek shook his head. “No. What?”

“You’re the one who brought me out here.”

“What?” His body stiffened.

“You told me to wait for you,” she said.

“I don’t know you, lady. It wasn’t me.”

“Yes, my fiancé.”

“Why would your fiancé bring you out here?” Colt asked.

Derek shifted nervously. Something wasn’t right, but what? He looked at her hands. There was no engagement ring! He looked at her feet. No shoes, and there was dried blood between her toes! “Colt! Stop the damn car!”

Colt slammed on the brakes just as Derek jumped out and screamed at him, “Get out of the car, man.”

The bride remained motionless as Colt leaned over her to look at him. “Are you crazy, Derek? What’s wrong with you?”

“Look at her!” He pointed to the woman’s feet.

The brides head cocked at an awkward tilt, a leer stretched across the taught skin on her now emaciated face. “I’m baaack. You can’t get rid of me now.” She hissed in a deep demonic voice. Turning with a ghostly speed, her nail flashed blood red just before they sank into Colt’s neck. Killing him.

Faster than Derek’s eyes could follow, the bride was now in front of him. He threw a fist into her face, but it push right through her.

“Holy Mother of Mary….you’re a ghost!”

She gave an evil smile. “So sweet of you to join me, Derek. I’ve waited so long for your return.”


Well I hope you enjoyed the vignette spots...so tell me, what mood/s was I in when I wrote them and do I reveal anything about me personally as an author? What is between the lines?

Hugs
Hawk


36 comments:

A man called Valance said...

Flummoxed.

Blodeuedd said...

Dang, not first, well you did post earlier than usual ;)

Neutral in the first, happy in the 2nd. But then I go by what is written, not mood. Cos the text differs

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Now Mr. V,

Flummoxed? I don't think a man like you has ever felt confused or perplexed by anyone or anything.

Was I a good author and managed to keep MY PERSONAL VOICE out of the stories, or can you read between the lines and feel the mood I was in when I wrote them?
Does the content of the stories reveal my personality or are you still flummoxed over who I am?

LOL
Big Hugs
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Blodeuedd,

LOL, almost first honey!

I'll reveal the answer at the end of the week after everyone has said what they think...

So, you're saying only because of the text and the way it differed gave you these two impressions about the author?

Neutral and happy -

So, if you were to read both of these as full books, you're telling me you can't really feel or see the author's personality behind the words of the first one, right? Neutral

That my moods when writing that one didn't impregnate the story with my personal emotions?

Now the second one you said...YOu picked up that the author was happy when writing it...what made you feel that? What actual sentence or paragraph gave you that impression about the author? Or was it a general happy feeling between the lines of the story..... (A KILLER GHOST! {8-O ) That made you think the author was in a good mood?

What I'm trying to see is if everyone who reads these feels the same thing at the same spot when reading them.

Let me know
Big hugs
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Mr. Valance!

Oh it just hit me...did you mean the author was Flummoxed while writing both of these stories?

If that is your answer - point out were and why.

LOL
Hugs
Hawk

A man called Valance said...

Just plain flummoxed. I'll think about it, see if the fog clears.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

LOL Mr. V!

O.K., well it's nice to know you're feeling flummoxed and it wasn't what you thought (I) the writer was feeling when she wrote the two blurbs...

I can tell you I wasn't confused while writing either piece...but I was....

LOL, now you're going to have to wait till the end of the week to hear what mood I was in and what I was feeling when I wrote them.

Hey, you enjoying those donuts? ;-)

Hugs
Hawk

Druantia said...

LOL, I will wait til all have answered for it would not be right for me, a sighted one, to say what I see in the mirror...lol

Druantia

A man called Valance said...

Hmm, the first one is no length at all. Is that significant, I wonder. Did you enjoy writing it? I don't know. I can't tell.

The second example is a lot longer. Your creative juices were flowing, and I got the impression you enjoyed writing it.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Druantia!

LOL, I agree...it wouldn't be fair.

Next time
Hugs
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Mr. V,

Yes the first one is shorter, but still written while I was in a mood...so what you're telling me is you can't see the authors voice behind the words in this one.

And you feel a happiness from the author written between the lines on the longer one.

Is this correct?

Hugs
Hawk

Cecile said...

okay, my mind is too muddy right now to get this one... i will be back!!!

A man called Valance said...

Hawk, a man finds it hard enough to guess what a woman's thinking when she's stood right in front of him and yelling at him. It's been that way since time began.

With five fishes and a couple of loaves, I could at least make a sandwich. But trying to work out a woman's mood from her writing ain't just difficult, it's downright impossible.

Jes' Mystical Treasures said...

Good one Sis, but I'm not playing...who knows what was going on in your head.LOL..good question for writers...I'll be back to see the out come.
Love much
Jes

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Mr. V!

LoL...come on...are we women really that hard to read?

Well tune in on Sat and I'll tell you all what I was thinking when I wrote these blurbs!

Hugs
Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

MR. V,

I'm having a heck of a time getting my comments to post on your site so I'm trying it here...

Well Mr. V,
In the first comment I wrote I had a lot of quick come backs…funny ones too….but it’s something that you write from the top of your head and can’t be repeated ~ so, with that said, just know I teased you and Cecile a lot about that scurrilous *cough* I mean scrupulous *double cough* recipe you two are working on *Hacking cough* in her kitchen…last cook she had in her kitchen was naked as a newborn (Hope you knew that ‘cuz I’m believing that’s a requirement at her place). Not sure why two scrupulous cooks like yourselves would want to work with bags over your heads and not be recognized but things always seem a little kinky at her place!
ROTGLOL REAL HARD!
Oh my…shush on the mistake God made because some egos get real touchy on this subject…but as all good business people know…the first proto type (Man) is never the finish product (Woman). ;-) teheheheheheheheheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
*Waving to WORDWRIGHT!*
Now…I thought for sure you’d catch on with the sandwitch! SAND WITCH…meaning your sandwich had been *Cough* blessed with magic…get it…sandwitch! LOL What can I say me twin is rubbing off on me!
Who’s Miss Lola Lacey?

HUgs Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Hum...it posted without a problem...I'm guessing your site just doesn't like me, Mr. Valance!

:-(

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Jes!

Come on...you're my twin...you've got to know what I was thinking!

Come on...PLAY!

Gosh I thought everyone was going to like this post...and no one wants to play....

Natasch...guess we'll never know the answer to the question "Does everyone pick up the same things about an author's personality from her writing."

I can't get anyone to play this week! :-(

Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Mr. V - remember the donuts? Go there.

Hawk

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Cecile!

I can't believe you and Jes have bugged out on me! Man! I thought you two would have a comment and play the game!

Man!

Doesn't anyone want to play?

HUM...Where's my can of worms... :-( I'm going to go play by meself! Not fair!

Jes' Mystical Treasures said...

OK fine here is my guess, but I'm not a writer so here goes.
If I know you, you were in a myriad of moods. You felt misty forbidding and ominous as well as sinister, threatening and a bit obscure secrets of mystery.
How is that? Will this do?
Hug Hon
Jes

Jes' Mystical Treasures said...

Well, what is the out come? Is anyone guessing? Well did I come close to what you were going through...I think you take on each person in the story when you are writing in their POV that's what I think...because Sis,you write very complex stories with many actors in each story...it's awsom what you can do, but to guess where your mind is when your into your writing...not a chance in hell... I did try.
Love Ya
Jes

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Jes...

Great answers!

Well, I guess to answer Natasch's question "Does everyone pick up the same things about an author's personality from her writing."

My test was inconclusive...

From what Jes and Mr. V said...I'd say from this author's POV...my private life doesn't come through in my writing.

When I wrote both of these endings...I was in the middle of a book and really didn't have time to be entering contest...but, I did it because someone was insisting I do it.

At the time I was under a lot of stress and just wanted to get the endings out. So, I spent as little creative energy as possible on them. I wanted to get back to my real work of writing my book.

BUT as Jes' said - when I write I jump into the character I'm writing for...so that might keep my personal feelings out from coming up between the lines of my stories. I wasn't grumpy and I wasn't happy I was in a "Just get it done" kind of frame of mind.

I can say the first one got me an honorable mention in the contest and the second one was raved about on the RB blog site.
I guess I could have won had I taken more time.

So...there it is in a nut shell!

HUGS TO ALL
Hawk

A man called Valance said...

Well, I’ll be damned. Pass me the dunce’s hat. Only thing I can say in my defense – apart from being male – is that I might have stood a better chance if I’d been familiar with your ‘better’ stuff. Still, you must be doing something right if a keyboard thrash earns high praise.


‘come on...are we women really that hard to read?’

Yup

‘In the first comment I wrote I had a lot of quick come backs…funny ones too….but it’s something that you write from the top of your head and can’t be repeated’

I’m sorry I didn’t get to see it. I always look forward to your comments. Maybe you could copy and paste from WORD, or something similar, as I do.

‘so, with that said, just know I teased you and Cecile a lot about that scurrilous *cough* I mean scrupulous *double cough* recipe you two are working on *Hacking cough* in her kitchen…last cook she had in her kitchen was naked as a newborn (Hope you knew that ‘cuz I’m believing that’s a requirement at her place).’

Hmm, then I’ll call you for a herbal cure if I get a burnt hotdog.

‘Not sure why two scrupulous cooks like yourselves would want to work with bags over your heads and not be recognized but things always seem a little kinky at her place!’

The paper bag thing… a little joke, something to wear over the head so I'm incognito when going in an out of Cecile’s – if you’ll pardon the expression.

‘Oh my…shush on the mistake God made because some egos get real touchy on this subject…but as all good business people know…the first proto type (Man) is never the finish product (Woman). ;-)’

S’ok, I deal in smiles, you deal in smiles. It's good. I like it.

‘Now…I thought for sure you’d catch on with the sandwitch! SAND WITCH…meaning your sandwich had been *Cough* blessed with magic…get it…sandwitch! LOL’


I noticed. Been wondering ever since when I'd start croaking and hopping around.

‘What can I say me twin is rubbing off on me!’

Hell, that's quite a confession. I know you two are close, but maybe you’d better keep that story for Cecile.

‘Who’s Miss Lola Lacey?’

A figment of my imagination, inspired by your ‘Can can girl’ revelation.

‘Hum...it posted without a problem...I'm guessing your site just doesn't like me, Mr. Valance!’

Well, maybe it don’t, but I do, and I hope you’ll try again.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

LOL Mr. V!

O.K., here's another donut...and some Irish whiskey....now too many of us girl's think we've seen this face...is this a picture of you, Or just a button?

You sure don't look like a Brit in this shot!
I think you're pulling our legs, Mr. V!

Oh don't worry about the sandWITCH it should rub off in a few days, and you'll be as good as new.

LOL...Mr. V....Jes and me on Ceciles ....I don't think so...we're both too old for that!

Always enjoy your posting Mr. V!

Hawk

Jes' Mystical Treasures said...

No Hawk your privet life doen't come through your work, maybe other writers but not you. You spend many hours working and rewriting, because of this, I think if you did tend to show any privet feeling in your writing, the rewrights take care of this as with most pro- writers.
Enjoyed this post sis, and had fun. Now I need to find time to see Cecile, she has a contest going and she wants us there.

later Hon big hug and kiss
Jes

A man called Valance said...

Thank you, Hawk. I reckon I earned the donuts and whiskey too, seeing as I was the only male dumb enough to stick my neck out on this subject.

‘now too many of us girl's think we've seen this face...is this a picture of you, Or just a button?’

Still going on about that, huh? Hmm, you’ve given me an idea. I think I’ll do a post about it.

‘You sure don't look like a Brit in this shot!’

Ain’t supposed to.

‘I think you're pulling our legs, Mr. V!’

Wouldn’t be the first time, I guess, but it’s the truth. Be no use wearing a cowboy hat and talking like Prince Charles now, would it? (And before you say it – no, I don’t talk like him, either.)

‘Always enjoy your posting Mr. V!’

You too, sister.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

LOL...you're going to do a post on this picture...do we get to find out if it's you or an avatar?

Prince Charlie! Oh Please...If this picture is of you...you're way more handsome than P Charles...and if this picture isn't you...you're still way way more handsome the PC! LOL

So...if you're a Brit (mind you most Brits don't call themselves BRITS) you sure have mastered the American English! How did ya' do that? Lots of old movies?

If you're Brit then what do you English call Ireland?

The______ to England.

Finish this statement. It's a very common thing said in England about Ireland.
You'll know this if you're a BRIT!

Why do you tease us girls so?

LOL
Hawk

A man called Valance said...

‘You're going to do a post on this picture...do we get to find out if it's you or an avatar?’

You’ll get the truth, the whole truth and nothing but. Promise.

‘Prince Charlie! Oh Please...If this picture is of you...you're way more handsome than P Charles...and if this picture isn't you...you're still way way more handsome the PC! LOL’

Thank you, I’m sure old big ears would be delighted to hear it.

So...if you're a Brit (mind you most Brits don't call themselves BRITS)…

Still doubtful, huh?

…you sure have mastered the American English! How did ya' do that? Lots of old movies?

Something like that. A shared language means American films/movies, music and culture have always had a big influence here. From I Love Lucy and The Phil Silvers Show, American TV shows have always provided a large slice of British TV viewing. I grew up in the golden age of the western, when little boys played Cowboys and Indians in the street, rode high on a chair arm when they watched Rawhide, and yearned for Christmas to come, so they could ask Santa for a cowboy hat, a cap gun, and a sheriff’s badge (I didn’t get the badge). My affection for those times endures, and that’s why it’s easy for me to slip into the character of a man called Valance.


‘If you're Brit then what do you English call Ireland?’

Ireland (and who said I’m English?)

‘Finish this statement. It's a very common thing said in England about Ireland.’

Perhaps it is, but it’s not familiar to me. I don’t know what the answer is.

‘You'll know this if you're a BRIT!’

Hmm, then it looks like I’ve failed the Irish-American-hearsay Brit test. What can I say? By the way, it’s two o’clock here on a Bank Holiday afternoon, and that’s why I’m not at work today.

‘Why do you tease us girls so?’

I like talking to ladies. And when ladies talk to me, well, most of them ain’t shy when it comes to teasing me. I don’t know. Maybe a lady just likes to teased, and charmed, by a gentleman.

Hawk, if I may, I’d like to ask you a question. I’m curious. When a new follower arrives at the porch, I’ve usually got a good idea what path they came by. But not you. How did you come by my place?

Natascha / Ashleagh said...

Hi Hawk,

Soz I wasn't able to be here for this post, had a massively busy two weeks. Sorry for posting such a brainer, but I know what you mean, once your minds starts twisting and turning... *sigh*

When I read your two pieces of stories I had to admit the second part caught on to me, felt like it flowed off your hands and got hold of you, the first however - can I say that it felt like you were to the point almost like a no-nonsense straight forward mood of some sort. By all means not a perky and sunshiney mood.

But maybe I'm totally wrong -lol-. There was something with the flow off the words, the second one seemed like you connected more to writing it.

Hugs
Natascha

PS I am curious to see what Druantia has to say ;-)

A man called Valance said...

Hmm, I've got a feeling I'm in the doghouse. Maybe I'll just cough politely and see what happens.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

No my dear Mr. V,

You are not in the doghouse at all...What on earth would give you that idea?

You've never done anything but make me laugh...and I thank you for that.

Hugs
Hawk

A man called Valance said...

Thanks Hawk. It's just that with Jes pulling up the drawbridge so suddenly, and then you shutting down for a week or so, and with my previous post (above)still unanswered, well, it all adds up to making me a little wary. I'd sooner walk away quietly than step on anybody's toes.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

My dear Mr. V,

Please believe me when I say...nothing you said had anything to do with the drawbridge or my reconstruction...

You're a sweet man and I'll always think that about you!

So don't you be worryin' - all is fine.

HUGS
Hawk

A man called Valance said...

OK Hawk. Thanks.

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Hugs Mr. V!

Hawk