....to the show last week.
It was my pleasure Miss Hawk.
Last week you said on the show you thought I had sexy lips...do you really think that?
Have I ever lied to you?
*Hawk nodded,* Lot's of times.
Humm, maybe I have.But I ain't lying about your soft sexy lips. I like the ruby red you've painted them too! Sexy as hell. Now come here....
Oh, I like hugs...you know that. *A stage hand calls out 5 mins to air! Hawk pulls away from Valance*
OMG, *Clear throat and straightens clothes.*
I didn't realize it was that time already!
*Hawk walks out on the make-shift stage*
Last week I introduced you to Levitt E. Valance and we're going to lay this man bare this week.
Seems you already did that backstage, Miss Hawk.
*Hawk frowns* Valance! Have a seat and let's get this interview going shall we?
Valance sits down and give Miss Hawk a look that says he'll finish what he started later.
So Valance you were saying you picked a new name for a new start – Liberty Valance. The movie, The Man Who Shot Liberty Valance, had been on TV that week so…
Yeah, so it was fresh in my mind. Had a lot of fun with it too, though it probably wasn’t the best choice I could have made.
I think it worked against me sometimes. I gave my best, but in the company of Emily Constance Masterson and J.C. Gumboil III, and their writery avatars, I don’t think I was ever seen as a serious player.
OMG, you're kidding me. They couldn't see the creativity behind the name, and how you made the author's image as important as his sotries? Writery avatars? What do you mean?
You know, like this… *clasps hands under chin, and adopts a contemplative expression*
Are you saying there was an element of snobbery?
I’d have said an element of bullshit. I guess it amounts to the same thing.
Boy, aren’t you the tactful one? You really know how to court popularity, don’t you?
*laughs* I guess not, but I've got no time for politics and I ain’t running for sainthood. Image counts for a lot. I’ve seen the same thing in Blogsville, too.
Yes, it does. Any public personality be it an author, movie star, model or politician has the secondary burden of "Public Image" to think about. So, you dropped ‘Liberty’ sometime later…
Yup. Besides being someone else’s creation, the snarling Lee Marvin character bore little resemblance to the character I’d become. I kept the surname – for the sake of continuity – and became a man called Valance.
Why didn’t you just write under your real name?
Writing is my guilty secret. Anonymity is comfortable. And I like being a man called Valance.
You enjoyed your time in the writing communities?
Most of the time, yeah. In four years my writing improved a lot. I learned something about people, too. They’re the same wherever you go.
Why did you leave?
Amongst other reasons, I’d gone as far as I could.
Do you miss it?
A few people, maybe, but writing sites no, not anymore. And I sure don’t miss having to read poems. I like to pay my dues and return comments whenever I can, but I hated having to comment on poems, and believe me those places are swamped with the damn things.
I guess you don’t like poetry?
Well, I don’t dislike it. I just don’t get it, that’s all. My understanding of poetry peaked when Jack and Jill went up a hill.
*Hawk leans into Valance; whispering, 'Jack and Jill is a short story not a poem.' Valance whispers back "I know...but that's all I could come up with off the cuff." Hawk pats his hand, 'o.k., maybe no one will notice. Let's move on.' Hawk addresses the crowd -
After that it was downhill all the way?
You got it. That ain’t to say I don’t recognize crap when I see it. I swear some of those poems were conceived and created quicker than I can piss.
Hawk jumps up and spins around this distract the crowd from Valance's naughty word.
Ah, how do you like my new outfit? *Then smiles at Valance and says in a tone only he can hear...I bought it just for you!
Hell, I need a drink…
*Hawk laughs and shoves a shot of Irish whiskey at him*
That’ll do fine. Just leave the bottle right there. Thank you.
Catch your breath Pard...we've still got an interview to finish!
Don't mind if I take my shirt off do you...it's getting a little hot in here.
Hawk gives a wicked smile...and says; Not at all...I'm sure the girls won't mind.
So, why do you write, Valance?
Because that little flame of creativity won’t go away. Writing gives me a lot of pleasure. That pleasure is a gift. My grandfather was denied that gift. I owe it to him not to waste it. So I write, with a smile and touch of mischief, and savor the good feeling it brings.
Well I can honestly say I have enjoyed your *Couch* gift and its brought me some very wonderful feelings...your gift that is! So, What brought you to Blogsville?
I had nowhere else to go.
And you became Levitt E. Valance?
Yup. I was just reading an article one day when the word ‘levity’ leapt up off the page at me. It was perfect. Excuse me while I light another cigarette.
They’ll kill you one day.
Yup, so I’m told. Got anymore whiskey?
Betcha you can’t pull the cork with your teeth.
Betcha I can. *Pop!* There! *Hawk winks at him* you should know better than to dare an Irish girl!
Hell, what a woman. *smiles* Just like my mother.
Sweetie...I sure hope I didn't hear you right...to compare a woman to your mother is an insult!
S'ok, she ain't the kind to feel offended. Why I even bought a new cowboy hat to impress you with. See. *Valance stands up for all to see*
Do you like it?
Oh Yes...how about you girls? * after the crowd settles down Hawk says*
You’ve been quoted as saying ‘For the next four years I mixed with the talented faces in some wonderful places, and met plenty of good folk along the way. I gave everything I had, but my readership never expanded to a level that might have encouraged any fancy ideas, and early in 2009, I stopped trying. It seemed I’d reached the end of the line, and quiet acceptance of the fact was preferable to beating my head against a rock trying to prove otherwise. With nowhere else to go, I staked a claim in this blogging wilderness. Valance
And although this blog rides a cowboy ticket on the 3:10 to humor, I’m no more a cowboy than I am a writer.’
This is sad, because when I go to your blog called “the Porch” I fall into a wonderfully creative world of the Wild West. I chat and play with wonderful and creative people, writers who are doing what comes natural…entertaining each other with their words and exciting worlds.
Your blog is set up in such a unique way compared to other blogs. Its set up for creative chatting…anyone who wants to add to the story or chit chat is welcome. Your blog doesn’t bore or preach…it’s a porch with chairs for weary writers to sit and think, to watch and find silence. It’s a place of constant activity that one can play or not play…it’s all in what you feel. How did you come up with such a concept?
On a writing website. When I got tired of signing in and seeing my participation ignored, I figured I might as well sit and talk to myself. So I did, on my home page. I imagined myself sitting in rocking chair on a porch, and just rambled away. When it occurred to me that I might be taken for a nut, I introduced an imaginary dog, as a stooge, so I’d have someone to talk to.
And be taken for a nut who talks to an imaginary dog?
Hmm, I never thought of that.
Did you get any visitors?
A few. Miss JJ mostly. Miss Patsy too. Others sometimes. That was how The Porch began – just one man and his dog, and folk stopping by to comment. It’s the same format I brought to Blogsville.
Did you consider blogging about anything else?
Nope. At a time when I was disillusioned with the whole writing scene, The Porch was my escape. The Porch was always about having fun. I retain an interest in the craft of writing, but that interest is purely peripheral these days. Anything too deep gets me nauseous.
Oh? I like it deep
Yeah, so I've heard.
*Hawk blushes* That's naughty Valance! *Hawk giggles* ...So, I guess I'll have to get you some pepto for our final session next week. *Wink*
As for today that's it for now Girls ... go check out The Porch and see what troubles Miss Houston and Mister Valance are getting into. It's sexy, spicy and feisty!