Friday, January 21, 2011

Is Romance A Fantasy?

Most women read romance, and most dream of having a handsome hero step into their lives just like they do in the romance...but then they hear a familiar and disgruntled voice say...

I wish you'd stop reading those books - I can't be that fantasy man you want me to be!

In which most of these women will think...

Why not?

What's so hard about being a man who really cares about his woman? Being a man who wants to protect and provide for her.

A man who cherishes her and loves only her. A man who adores everything about her even on a bad day. A man that so loves her he'll remember it's his helping her around the house that will warm his nights. Why can't he gaze into her eyes with total devotion like he use too?

What's so hard about being a hero?

It's not like women are asking them to go out and slay a dragon any more! Now that had to be hard! And the men back then did it!

What women are asking for these days is what should be coming to the men naturally....but isn't?


These women are only asking to be adored, loved, cherished and protected. Their not even asking the man to provide for them anymore...maybe that's the problem.
I'm one of the lucky girls...I have my hero and he is all that. But I have some very wonderful girlfriends who don't. And I'm talking girls that are drop dead goegeous and have the sweetest hearts!

I hear about the men that are out there and I have to wonder...what happened to our men...the hero's of our hearts?

I hear how the men are dead in bed or so fast you didn't even know they were there!

I've heard the men would rather play with their video games or sleep on the sofa all afternoon than make love or spend time with their women!

Is Romance dead? 


Diana (Book of Secrets) said...

I'm one of the lucky ones too. My husband is definitely my hero, and I doubt I appreciate him enough. If there were dragons to slay, he'd be out there doing it. No, romance is not dead!

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Hey Diana,

Glad to hear you found a real any idea's where the other girls who don't should be looking?

Glad you stopped in hon.


Sweet Vernal Zephyr said...

It's not dead just has to be coaxed out. I was lucky enough to grab up my husband in the developmental stages (17) *wink*

But I also have a beautiful sweet caring girlfriend that is just settling for her deadbeat user boyfriend of years and years. *sigh* I'm pretty sure she thinks this is as good as it gets.

Blodeuedd said...

Bf does the small things, like light candles when we watch movies :) And do not freak out when I get all crazy *coughs PMS!* Cos yes I can get really weird.

And he only thinks of what I want in bed too *giggles*

Kracken said...

I may not currently have the "hero" but I know without a doubt they exist.

I think a lot of times it is what we ouselves choose to see. With my ex husband I was so dang resentful nearly the WHOLE 10 years.

I never stopped to see the good. Didn't try.

There is more to it than that, but a lot of times, we dont' look at what we have. Even heros have to learn somewhere.

Of course I can't say I wouldn't rather them be trained before they get to me!

Oscar said...

Romance is deader than the proverbial doornail with the advent of all the tech gadgets to play with. Who has time for romance?

SY said...

Honestly I don't know what's happening to men today... It's like they want to be chased and don't want to do any chasing..

I don't know.. its scary out there and I don't think we're asking too much

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Hey Sweet,

See you and I are alike...we have our hero's (Men with intelligence) but what about all those girls out there who don't?
And some of my girl friends thought they had hero's and found out quickly they didn't.

What's happened? Men in the past we're kind and protective of their, it would seem they all want a mama to take care of's as if they have no male pride. Just look at the way they dress...baggy over sized clothes that make them look like little boys in daddy's clothes waiting for mama to bring them lunch.
When did the male stop seeing himself as a man with a sexy and intelligent image...OMG, I've even see grown men (50year old men - who should know better) pulling their pants down around their Dingaling and walking around looking for their mama's. They need to grow up!

What's a woman today got to do to find a real man?


Houston A.W. Knight said...


Then you're like me and Sweet...very lucky!

I just feel for my girlfriends who don't have Mr. Right and the only choice they have is...what's out there... OMG!

If I didn't have my hero already...I would be a hermit...I just couldn't deal with the choices that are out there...only other option would to be to raid a nursing home to find the last hero. LOL


Houston A.W. Knight said...


I like you're positive attitude about this situation...not sure how you do it because I don't think I could be that positive about the choices out there.

You said: [I think a lot of times it is what we ourselves choose to see.]
This is true. We create our own reality...but I'm not looking. It's what my girlfriends report back to me about what's out there. Then when I go out and see some old man pretending to be a rapper and the young men walking around dressed like a child...I have to wonder about men in general...where are their minds these days? It's not on attracting women...or they sure wouldn't dress like that because there is NOTHING SEXY about Baggy, rumpled clothes.

It's like they don't care...about anything.

[With my ex husband I was so dang resentful nearly the WHOLE 10 years.]

Resentful that you were having to RAISE him?

[I never stopped to see the good. Didn't try.]

Well I think a lot of Marriage that go bad can say this. Sometimes in a marriage people take advantage of each other and that isn't right. In a good Marriage you have to always think of the other person and put them #1 on your list. To stay happy you have to see your mate as your bestfriend (he should be your best friend)

[There is more to it than that, but a lot of times, we dont' look at what we have.]

Or appreciate what we have.

[Even heros have to learn somewhere.]

I agree...if you find that hero you better be treating him as such.

[Of course I can't say I wouldn't rather them be trained before they get to me!]

Yeah, why aren't the women today raising heros? Or is it we don't have heros because in most cases the boys are growing up in homes without a father? A father who would make the hero in him flourish?

you've got to wonder...

Houston A.W. Knight said...

Oscar...women NEED romance like a man needs sports.

Without it...soon there will be no future race.

Women are getting tired of doing it's not like we're asking that much...a little of your attention now and then is all we're asking...why is that so hard for most men today to understand?

Houston A.W. Knight said...


I agree with you...we don't ask them to carry a baby for nine months, we don't ask them to clean house or do the laundry, and even in some marriage we don't ask them to bring home a pay check.

We don't ask them to be apart of raising the children and now they can't even be a good lover?

Most men today don't even know how to seduce a woman! Nor do they want to.

Perhaps that's the problem...women! Most of us stopped expecting or asking. It became esier to just do it ourselves.
And through time men became lazier and lazier!

And now it's too late...unless women are willing to expect more from their men and let that be known....but as Kracken said, in a gentle and kind way, and when you get the man to do it be thankful and kind...gave him the pat on the back for being a good man.

I know I tell my hero all the time how luck I am to have him. But when he messes up...I don't let it pass Irish gets up there and lets it be known I'm not happy... that I expect him to be a man and do what's right.

Brandi said...

I find romance in a lot of places...that being said I havent found a hero yet.

Thought I had one turned out I was wrong. I was a little jaded in my thinking and now that has left me a little jaded in other ways.

I dont believe the full on fairy tale, but I know that romance is not dead. Just have to find someone that has the same ideas as to what exactly what that is. Im not settling for less again.

Christine said...

I have a great husband, but he's not a perfect hero. Then again, I'm not a perfect heroine. I like to think that the heroes and heroines in romances are like us, too. They aren't perfect, but they find a way to accept the imperfections because they love the total package and are willing to fight for the commitment.


Dottie (Tink's Place) said...

Hi Hawk

This March, my hubs and I will celebrate our anniversary, so many years together, I've lost count (not really, lol, but it is a ton of them). I know I got married when I was a baby, I know we've changed a lot over the years of our marriage, there have been good times and bad. Life isn't perfect, but think how boring it would be if it was. Do I ever regret getting married? On the bad days, yeah, but who doesn't? It's the good times, my three kids, my wonderful Mom-in-law who I miss everyday, my cranky Dad-in-law who I don't always miss...

I'm by far never perfect, so I don't expect my hubs or life to be. Sometimes, I wish I'd married someone a little bit more like my Dad, who was my first hero, but then sometimes not. Love isn't easy, but if you're willing to put in the work, the benefits you'll reap are more than worth it. It takes time to find the right fit, it's not like you can exchange or return for a full refund. And anyway, used heroes are harder to sell.

Dottie :)

Pixie said...

I completely agree with you, Hawk. Romance is dead. I think part of the problem is our lives are so hectic we don't take the time to relax together. I also believe that most men never receive the appropriate training from the previous generation on how to treat a woman and stay self centered, or worse.

So when picking a mate look at how his father treats his mother, if possible, because that should give you some indication of what to expect.


Houston A.W. Knight said...

Sorry I haven't answered before now...I tossed my shoulder out and have been in bed recovering...'ve got the key...DON'T SETTLE FOR LESS!


Houston A.W. Knight said...

Christine, (hugs)

YOu hit the nail on the head when you said...

(((find a way to accept the imperfections because they love the total package and are willing to fight for the commitment.)))

This is true love...accepting the person with all their sides...good and bad!


Houston A.W. Knight said... always make me laugh...I love the fact you always see the humor in any situation!

Big cyber hugs